It has been a long breastfeeding journey with my Daughter. We’ve battled everything from a 5 month thrush (first 5), vasospasums, cracked and bleeding, blocked ducts. My goal of two years of providing her with Breastmilk is now coming to an end. Saturday is the day it stops. She won’t be two until August 1st, but I’ve got enough frozen milk to give her for the next month once a day every other day that I’m okay with this.
I want to do the cleansing part of the Isagenix program and I don’t want the toxins I’m eliminating to transfer into her through my milk.
I started weaning going back to work, where I nurse her in the morning, after work and night. I’ve been now cutting this back and having conversations with her she can understand.
I mention how I’ve talked about how mommy’s milk will be finished “someday”. Then I tell her that day is coming up in 4 days (She counts to 10 and I know she knows how many 4 is, just not how ‘long’ that really is). I tell her that on Saturday mommy’s milk will be all done. That on Saturday we’ll be not nursing anymore.
This morning when she asked to nurse while I was holding her, I said “remember what we talked about, mommy’s milk?” and she nodded ” Well, Mommy’s milk is going to go away very soon, in 3 days on Saturday when we are visiting grandma and grandpa.” then she nodds and I say ” so we are going to not nurse as often, we can have some when we come home tonight.”
It is bitter sweet for me. I know I want to do this program so I’ll be a healthier mother to her, so I’ll have more energy and be able to give her more of my happiness. I’m sad that this part of our mother-daughter journey is ending.
I went for a walk last night, had a good cry and now I’m okay.
Saturday we will be shooting a wedding and won’t be around while my parents are babysitting her, it is the perfect chance for the cut-off day. Sunday morning when we wake up, no more mommy’s milk instead we have special mommy daughter cuddle, book or playtime.